You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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