Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
porn star boner night. come get it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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