need another drink. this is the easiest way
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
