I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
