He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Don't tell me you're on acid again
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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