If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
