my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize