its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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