she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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