I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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