Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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