Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(423): View more from Tennessee

i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.

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(319): View more from Iowa

he asked me to smell his eyeballs.

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(248): View more from Michigan

ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year

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These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Read it at the TFLN blog
(407): View more from Florida

Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.

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(254): View more from Texas

she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.

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(252): View more from North Carolina

McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems

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