im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
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That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again