The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money