Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?