There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
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How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
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I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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