I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
