I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
