Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
