Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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