The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
