nut hugger
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
We need to rekindle our bromance
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
