oh god the rape fog is back!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
