So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
