College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Semen is not good for contacts.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
