I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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