I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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