Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
