I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
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