I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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