If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
