Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
