Non-Jews are for practice
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
