is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
