I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize