What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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