im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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