Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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