You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
