Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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