I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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