Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
She bit a glass in half.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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