so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
is wine microwaveable?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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