He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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