Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
