I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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