i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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