yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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