i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize