Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
