What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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