I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
