ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
