She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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