people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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