Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
