i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
