Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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