i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
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Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
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I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize