At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
