if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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