I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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