I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
