I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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